Despite the dizzying number of parenting books out there, sometimes parents need more support and coaching than a manual can provide. In part, that’s because some kids are just more prone to challenging behaviors, and tougher to manage than others.
Even the most charming of children can get out of control, with parents stuck in ineffectual ruts and the level of frustration and conflict mounting in the family. Sometimes, says Matthew Rouse, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, behavior problems are associated with ADHD and other developmental or emotional challenges.
Kids can be noncompliant, ignoring instructions (and even direct orders) no matter how many times they’re reminded. They can be impulsive, oblivious to warnings and the rules they’re breaking. They can be oppositional and may argue back regularly. They may melt down or tantrum when asked to do something they aren’t keen on doing. All of this hurts the parent-child relationship and adds to the stress on both sides.
But harried parents don’t have to go it alone. There are a number of evidence-based parent training programs that can help bolster the skills needed to manage children’s behavior calmly and improve the quality of family life.
These programs are offered by psychologists and social workers, and they’ve been tested to determine exactly what techniques are most effective.
The basics of parent training programs
What all the programs have in common is that they teach parents how to use praise, or positive reinforcement, more effectively, to encourage the behaviors they want to encourage. And they teach parents how to deploy consistent consequences when kids don’t comply. The result is that kids learn to modulate their behavior to meet expectations and enjoy much more positive interactions with their parents.
Where the programs differ is in how instruction is delivered, how parents practice the skills they’re learning, and the pace at which they’re expected to master these new skills. The programs involve 10 or more sessions, and they target different age groups of children.
These programs include:
- Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT): PCIT works with parents and children together, teaching them skills to interact in a positive, productive way. It is effective for kids between the ages of 2 and 7, and usually requires 14 to 17 weekly sessions.
- Parent Management Training (PMT): In PMT, which is for children ages 3 to 13, parents are usually seen without the child present, although children may be asked to participate in some sessions. Skills to deal more effectively with challenging behaviors are taught and modeled by the therapist and then role-played with parents. After each session, parents are expected to practice the skills at home. Families usually participate in at least 10 sessions.
- Defiant Teens: This training for parents of teenagers 13-18 years. The first half of this program involves only parents, and focuses on teaching more effective tools for interacting with their teenager, specifically for handling noncompliance or defiant behavior. But since teenagers are more autonomous than younger children and less influenced by their parents’ guidance, the program also includes training for the adolescent to help them become a participant in changing the family dynamic. In the second half, parents and teenagers are both trained in problem-solving communication. The aim is to provide family behavioral resources to help each family member develop more effective problem-solving, negotiation and communication skills and to correct any unreasonable beliefs that might be impeding their interactions.
- Positive Parenting Program (Triple P): Triple P’s focus is on equipping parents with information and skills to increase confidence and self-sufficiency in managing child behavior. It can be utilized with a wide age range of children from toddlerhood through adolescence.
- The Incredible Years: The Incredible Years offers small-group-based training for parents of kids from infants through age 12. The programs are broken into four age groups (baby, toddler, preschool and school age) and they range from 12 to 20 weeks. There is also specialized training designed for high-risk socioeconomically disadvantaged families, and for families with children diagnosed with ADHD and oppositional defiance disorder (ODD).
- Behavioral and Emotional Skills Training (BEST): Designed to introduce effective behavior management techniques in a single session, Behavioral and Emotional Skills Training (BEST) offers interactive training, especially for parents who are Intern students as well as shadow teachers to help manage problem behaviors. Attendees of BEST learn the basics of behavior management and how to apply those skills consistently and effectively to increase their confidence in managing challenging behaviors. They also develop a behaviorally-minded network of other caregivers for continued support following training completion.
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